The Diet Begins!

I woke up this morning feeling very tired, thanks to the neighbours (who returned yesterday from a two week holiday) and their bloody barking dogs, I was woken at 7 ish, and the dogs continued to bark outside until 10 ish, when I am assuming the dogs were taken in because they were going out! It has been lovely over the last 2 weeks to be able to sleep in till 11 or even as late as 12, without being disturbed, but alas that is no more! Still, I stayed in bed till 11 and watched TV then had a shower, so I still got a lie in!
Once downstairs and after weighing myself (and finding that I had gone up to 16st 7lbs!!!!!!!!!!! - the heaviest I have ever been in my life!) I decided to rejoin Weight Watchers on line! I can't go to the classes, because as most people who suffer with Fibro know, you cannot guarantee how you will be from one day to the next, and actually getting up, showered, dressed and driving yourself somewhere might not be possible!!! Quite frequently by the time I have showered and dressed I am exhausted! And so that I can cope with not being able to get to a weigh in, it is easier to do WW on line! But you do have to be disciplined and honest about your weigh in, or there is no point in paying out the money! It is, of course, also a bit cheaper, not that that would stop me going to a class, but I also have the philosophy that I don't need a 'teacher' to tell me I am fat, I already know that, hence joining WW!!!!
I got started on the diet, by doing myself a lovely salmon and cucumber sandwich at lunchtime (yes I did nice little quarters, but I did leave the crusts on!!) followed by a bowl of grapes and a nice cup of coffee! Then I set about the task of writing a shopping list, and planning the meals for the week! That in itself was a task and a half, what with the fibrofog, and the fact that my thumbs were killing me today, which made writing very difficult! I eventually got it done, and was so chuffed with myself, as I had worked out a menu for the week, 3 meals a day plus snacks, so off Rich and I went to Tescos! We did the shopping, and when we left Tescos we popped to Currys to look for a new dishwasher, twice today I had dropped items and one had broken, so we thought it might be wise to get a new one!!!  I felt quite pleased with myself that I had done so much, but unfortunately it took it's toll on me when we got home!! I was in so much pain, and when I tried to dry the dishes I had left to drain, I had searing pain in my thumbs up my arms and across my shoulders!  It brought me to tears, which doesn't happen often, but it was, putting it bluntly, bloody excruciating! So much so that it took my breath away and left me holding on to the sink for all I was worth!! 
At this point I decided to sit and take a break, and put on my relaxation CD, which helps me to calm down, chill out and relax my body, which usually helps to alleviate the pain! It doesn't always work, depends how stressed I am, but on this occasion it did! After a bit of a rest I started to do the tea, some of the things I didn't attempt, thankfully Rich was working from home today so he did them, for example grating a carrot, a definite no when your thumbs won't work properly!!

ME - ALL 16ST 7LBS!!!

This evening I have spent some time writing a journal, to keep a track of my diet and how I am feeling with it! I am hoping that not carrying so much weight around will help my illness, but we will see!  Now that I look back on the day, I am amazed at how much I have achieved, and am pleased that I sat and wrote my journal because that was something that the consultant told me would help my wrists and hands, to keep them moving doing normal everyday things! Let's hope he was right!  I also took a photo of me in all my 16st 7lbs glory, and it was awful, I am just so fat!!!  But, on the other hand I can look forward now to taking another one when I have got to my goal of 12st, I know this may still seem heavy, but if I can get to 12st I will be happy, and a lot healthier, AND MY JOINTS WILL HAVE LESS STRAIN ON THEM!
I was also talking on Facebook today to a friend who has had a terrible year, lost her job, her marriage has broken down, one of her children has been in trouble with the police, and she is struggling to cope with finances and may lose her house, and that makes me count my blessings! I may be in constant pain - but it is not life threatening, it is a chronic illness; I may be overweight - but I have a husband who loves me dearly; I may worry about the future and what it brings me - but I know I have my lovely husband and two very caring sons who will be there for me!  For all of these things I am eternally grateful, and each time I feel this awful Fibro taking over my life I try to put into my mind the saying my mum always used - THERE IS SOMEONE IN THIS WORLD WORSE OFF THAN ME, SO JUST PICK YOURSELF UP, DUST YOURSELF DOWN AND START ALL OVER AGAIN!!