Goodbye Kerry!

Today was Kerry's funeral! Something I had been dreading attending for some time. Not because I didn't want to pay my respects to an incredible woman, but because I knew there would be people there who are two faced hypocrits who never had a good word to say about Kerry while she was alive and were only there because they were bloody nosey! I know that sounds awful, but I can't help telling the truth! There were people there who had asked me not to invite Kerry to get togethers at my home, which I find incredible! Thankfully I have my own mind and do what I want to do in my own home!

 

The send off was beautiful, the church was packed, the hymns were lovely, the eulogy was wonderful, but for me the two things that brought tears to my eyes were the poem Kerry's 11 year old daughter tried to read and the speech Kerry's husband Dave made. To say that he was angry is putting it mildly, but he was right to be angry, because a lot of people think that the reason for Kerry's illness and the speed with which it took her life was down to the stress she went through. You see Kerry was one of those people who gave her all to her job, she did in fact give her life! I won't put all the details on here, out of respect for Kerry and her family, but the Health Authority she worked for for many many years, and where she did her training, basically crapped on her from a great height - and today Dave named and shamed those responsible knowing that it would get back to them! A brave step to take, but an understandable one! Kerry, the bubbly fun loving girl who would give the shirt off her back to help someone was accused of being a bully and racist, and the people who accused her of this were people she thought were her friends. I believe they lied, and what is even more incredible is the main perpetrator of these lies was promoted once Kerry was suspended and then removed from her post! Incredible that in this day and age people can lie in court and get away with it. And what is even worse, the person that did this to Kerry denied that she was her friend, yet just a few years before this had been on holiday with her!

 

I hope that Kerry can rest in peace now, and I hope that Dave can have some closure now that he has had his say, and I hope that the people who did this to Kerry never have another days peace for as long as they live! Kerry's 15 year old son stood tall today, tears in his eyes, and tried to be strong for his dad and little sister, Kerry's 11 year old daughter was in pieces. She was bereft that this was her time to say goodbye to the fun loving vibrant mummy who had always been there for her, given her everything she could, and all she wanted now was a cuddle from her mum!

 

 

Kerry and Dave - taken just 18 months ago at a party we went to!



 

Because I was unsure if the people I did not like were going to continue on to the wake, I decided not to attend. There was also a burial after the church service, and I couldn't face that either. So myself and Mel went for lunch and we had a bottle of wine and toasted Kerry, which in Kerry's eyes would be the thing to do! We all had visions of Kerry sitting on a cloud with a glass of wine in one hand and her mobile phone in the other! If Kerry wasn't laughing and joking she was on her phone, which never seemed to stop ringing! God bless you Kerry Marriott, you will be so sadly missed by so many, but you will live on in your two children, who look so much like you, and I hope that they will both grow up to be like their mum too - bubbly, cheeky, radiant and full of fun, that was Kerry!

 

After I got home from lunch we had a bit of a break and a cup of tea, then finally went to the doctors on the estate to register with them. I am finding it increasingly difficult to drive, and when I go to my surgery in town it is a difficult drive and parking is a nightmare! The surgery on the estate is literally a 2 minute drive and there is lots of parking, which is a relief! I also feel that the surgery in town is now too big, the doctors are not interested, and most of the time they don't even look up when you are talking! This for me is just rude! How can they possibly know how I am when they don't even look at me? Anyway, we are now on the move, hopefully, and with that move we should get a full overhaul by the new doctors! Now that should be interesting!

 

I have a busy day again tomorrow, my theatre trip with Elaine and Vic and meal out, so I am off to bed shortly. The pain today has been mostly everywhere! I have struggled to hold up my head, my shoulders really hurt, and my hips and knees feel like they have red hot pokers stuck in them! But I will carry on, I will not give in, and maybe one day I can just get something that will help me! But I would like a cure for cancer to be found first, because cancer kills, and I really don't want any more children to have to go through what Kerry's children did today! Cancer sucks, I hate it with a passion, and I pray to God that one day that cure will be found!

All Hail Ma Brown!

I had the best night out on Tuesday with my lovely hubby and my son Luke and his partner Abby. We went to see Mrs Brown Rides Again at the NIA in Birmingham, and to say that I laughed until I cried is putting it mildly! Even my throat hurt because I laughed so much, something I haven't done in a very long time! We booked the night out as a surprise for Luke's 24th Birthday, so he didn't know he was going until Sunday evening! We had arranged for Abby to finish work early on Tuesday so she could get here and have time to get ready. We didn't just go to the show, we also booked a meal as part of the Freestyle package, which was very enjoyable and also well organised. In with the price we had a main course and a sweet, three drinks per person, and our car parking ticket, which in itself would have been £8 if we hadn't got the package deal! We arrived in Birmingham at 5, which gave us plenty of time to find the car park, and make our way to the arena. Thankfully the car park had plenty of disabled places so we got a space and had a very short walk, down a ramp, to the venue. All very well organised! After waiting for about 15 minutes for the door to open, we were shown to our table and then the waiter came to take our order for drinks, and we then had to go to the buffet to choose our meal. I went for the chicken tikka with saga aloo and basmati rice, which was delicious. The sweet trolley was heaving with an abundance of lovely sweets, and I went for a caramel apple pie with cream! Mmmm, really tasty! I also had two glasses of wine with my meal, and ordered a wine for the interval.

 

We went to our seats for the show, which were in a really good spot, and it all began at 7.30 on the dot! The start in itself was hilarious, even the safety message was given by 'Ma Brown', and her mention of the IRA was funny and taken in good part. When the actual show began, Ma Brown was polishing in the kitchen, not particularly funny until you realised she was polishing the BAFTA the show had won! This was then promptly followed by her walking into the lounge and tripping over something, when she picked it up it was another BAFTA and her comment was 'jesus these feckin things are everywhere', to which the crowd roared and clapped with approval! The show itself was brilliant, lots of ad libs, hysterical cast, and many moments when they forgot their lines, but nobody in the audience minded, well most people! The only downside for us was the fact that the three people sat in front of us, a man, woman and a young girl, did not seem to be enjoying the show, and on quite a few occasions the man and woman looked at the young girl, who I assume was their daughter, and seemed a little embarrassed! There were a lot of inuendos in the show, and a lot of swearing, but I will say that the site you buy tickets from tells you that it does contain adult humour and under 14's have to be accompanied by an adult! If they felt it was too risque for their daughter, then maybe they should have thought twice about taking her! Thankfully they left about half an hour before it finished! The only other downside to the night was the seats in the arena, very very uncomfortable, and they really did not do me any good at all! By the end of the show I was in agony, and although there was plenty of leg room, my knees were very painful too! Thankfully it was a short walk to the car, and when I got home I had a nice cup of tea and 2 painkillers!

 

Ma Brown on the big screen!



 

 

 The cast at the end of the show!

 

 

Luke opening his presents!

 

 

 

We really have had a bit of a mad few weeks with one thing and another, but one thing I do have this week is the funeral of my lovely friend Kerry, not something I am looking forward to, especially as there will be people there who I know are not nice, and who have, in the past let me down badly. But I will rise above all that, because I have to pay my respects to a lovely woman who did not deserve to lose her life to bloody rotten cancer. She also did not deserve what she went through over the last few years! And more than all that, her two children aged just 15 and 11 do not deserve to grow up without a mother. Tragic is the word!

 

On Saturday I am at the theatre with Elaine and Vic, an early celebration for my birthday on 24th of this month, before they return to Spain for the winter. We are going for a meal first, which is going to be difficult because both Rich and I are on diets! We both have a lot of weight to lose and cannot afford to overdo it at the weekend, but I think we just have to be sensible. I am not going to drink, mainly because it is a meal before the show and I am worried about going to the toilet in the middle of the show and also being too tired to enjoy it! But whatever happens, we will enjoy it, because it is nice to meet up with friends and even better to have an evening out!

 

Next weekend is the one I am looking forward to, we are off to Windsor for a couple of days and staying at the McDonald Windsor Hotel right by the castle. But the bit I am looking forward to most is the trip around the Harry Potter Studios tour! I have arranged for a wheelchair as the tour itself is quite big, but mainly because I cannot walk too far now, and I know there is a lot to see!

 

So all in all September is a busy month, and it ends with a visit from my older son Aaron and his partner Vicki on the 21st to celebrate my birthday, which for me is always great because I miss him very much! It is always good to have the whole family together, and I must be honest I dread the time when they are too busy to visit, which I hope will never happen!

 

Anyway, I have a lot of other things going on, mainly the fact that my appeal is going to tribunal and that I am now changing my GP because I cannot get into town to go to the one I have now! So a busy month ahead, one I will no doubt wish would be at an end, because stress makes the Fibro worse, and at the moment I am extremely stressed! This I think is the main reason why I am in so much pain, which I will say is affecting my whole body at the moment! It has got so bad that some evenings I am having to get into my pyjamas early because I can't even stand my bra being on me as it hurts my skin! Try explaining that to your doctor, they really have no clue and do not understand one iota of what I go through each day! But I will carry on, I will get through all this, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish that I could have one day free from pain, to be able to walk round without every step hurting me, to go up the stairs normally instead of on all fours, to get out of my chair without my knees creaking and hurting me! Oh look, there's a pink pig flying past my window! That is as likely as me having a day free from pain!!! 







In Memory of Kerry

I have just returned from a week away in Spain. During my holiday I found out that a friend of mine had passed away. She was only 49 years old and leaves behind a 15 year old son and an 11 year old daughter, both of whom will miss their mum and have to grow up without her. I know this happens to people every day, and that many young people lose their parents at a young age, but the tragedy in this is the difficulties that Kerry had been through over the last few years at the hands of the hospital management where she worked, which I think had probably contributed to her death. Although she had cancer, because of the awful time she had been through over the last 4 years she perhaps did not pay attention to her health as much as she should have, and as an excellent nurse had she not been so stressed over the treatment she was receiving from a hospital that she had given her life to she might have noticed the signs more easily!

 

Kerry was the most bubbly, fun loving person, even through all the difficulties, who had lots of friends who she always made time for. When she found out she had cancer, we all hoped she would survive, but it wasn't meant to be, in fact it took her very quickly. She fought for a while, but I think she knew that it was not going to help her. A tragic loss of a young life, and the loss of a very much loved wife to Dave and mother to Jacob and Naomi. She was also a much loved daughter, sister, auntie, niece and cousin, and there are many pictures of her on her Facebook page at many family gatherings.

 

I knew Kerry when she first started her nurse training, and in fact I mentored her for a short while, and she was one of those people that you always could rely on. She worked hard and became an excellent nurse, her only fault was that she was too soft and often used to let others take advantage. This is what caused her the problems later on and this I feel was the reason why she had been ill for so long and had just put it down to stress. What the people at the hospital did to her was disgusting, I will not discuss it on here as it is not worth the waste of words on such vile people, but I hope that those people who lied about Kerry, to further their own careers, can live with what they have done, because I just know that what they did to her caused her illness and subsequent death! So the next time you want to be vile to someone, or nasty, just think that there are consequences to everything that we do!

 

I feel devastated at the loss of Kerry, especially as I had not been to see her for some time, and had promised her that when I returned from holiday I would give her a call and go round for a coffee. The reason for my lack of visits was the most annoying thing, I felt so ill that I didn't want to go round to see her and be negative! Now I wish I had just pushed myself and made that visit, Fibromyalgia has such a devastating effect on me, leaves me down and unable to cope, and the last thing Kerry needed was me going round there and being shocked at how she looked or unable to contain my feelings and getting upset!!  Nobody knew that the cancer would take her so soon, not even Kerry, and I can only imagine the shock and devastation this has caused to her family. She will leave a very big hole in their lives, she was always the life and soul of the party, the one who was first to get up and sing on the karaoke, the one who everyone went to when they had a problem, she was just a great woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, auntie, cousin and friend! God bless you Kerry, taken too soon, may you rest in peace free from pain, and I hope that you are now back with your brother Alan (Jappo), having the time of your lives with the Angels. I will miss you.

 

 

 

Kerry Wills Marriot

October 1962 - August 2012

Rest in Peace



What a joy the Olympics have been!

I am, I have to admit, one of those people who was thinking that the Olympics were a waste of resources and something the country could do without at the current time! With the recession biting, and keeping it's very unwelcome jaws clamped on us all for much longer than we would like, I just felt that the whole thing would be a flop! This was not helped by the ridiculous debacle of the security and the so called company who were supposed to be organising it! While we had the whole world watching us our wonderful (ahem) government decided that the cheapest would be the best, and put the security of the whole Olympics in the hands of a right bunch of muppets! Perhaps it is a bit of nepotism, because they must be related as neither seem capable of organising a p**s up in a brewery!

Not surprisingly the security was then handed over to our Armed Forces and Police. Go figure, the government had to depend on those people whose numbers they are planning on cutting over the coming months! Great, let's see you make sure the biggest event the country has ever organised is safe for all those taking part, visiting, etc., and by the way, at the end of it we will be giving you your P45! We have also had the most incredible volunteers who have helped at this fantastic event, and one of the things that has come across in the many many programmes covering the Olympics, is the fact that all of those who have been there to make sure that everyone is safe, gets to the right venue and generally helped, have had the most incredible smiles on their faces and have done their jobs in the typical way of us British - to the very best of their ability! We are a proud nation, and after this last two weeks I feel that we have a right to be, because from the Opening Ceremony to today, I have watched in awe as our fantastic team has won 29 Golds, 16 Silver and 19 Bronze medals, the most medals our country has ever won at a modern Olympics! Go Team Great Britain and Northern Ireland, you really have made me very proud to be British!

The Opening Ceremony I felt was incredible, from the fantastic rings that burned brightly as they were hoisted skyward, to seeing those future athletes lighting the flame of the incredible Olympic Torch, what a great way to ensure that the Olympic contestants of 2016, 2020, 2024 and beyond, will be sitting at home and thinking 'I want to be at the next Olympics'! Of course there were other highlights, seeing the Queen parachute into the stadium with James Bond aka Daniel Craig!! Seeing the wonderful Team GB and NI lead by Sir Chris Hoy in their incredible white and gold outfits coming into the stadium (and yes I cried!!), seeing David Beckham arrive on a speed boat with the flame, (that man is just so sexy!!), which was handed to Sir Steve Redgrave who then gave the honour to five future athletes, all picked by a famous Olympic medal winner, to light the incredible torch! The torch itself was a masterpiece, made up of 204 petals, one for each country taking part in the 30th Modern Olympiad, in London 2012!!! And of course there were the fireworks, and what a spectacle they were, absolutely incredible! Another note of interest for Great Britain is the fact that we are the only country to host the Olympics three times, 1908, 1948 and now 2012! What a great accolade for such a small country, and what an incredible job we have made of it!

 The Olmpic Rings aflame and being hoisted into the sky!

 The Queen (ahem!) parachuting into the stadium!

Sir Chris Hoy leading Team GB and NI into the stadium!

David Beckham on the speedboat with the flame!

The lighting of the Olympic Torch!

 The Firework Finale, incredible!!

Thoughout the 16 days there have been some fantastic moments, there have been some not so good ones, there have been tears, tantrums and many a laugh! There have also been the odd mistakes, times when things have gone wrong, times when countries you wouldn't expect to win a medal have done so, and times when teams who were expected to win have not! As one athlete said, it is all about the day, no matter how many times you have beaten someone before, the Olympics is a whole different ball game!!

I sat this morning watching one of the many programmes showing the highlights of the games, I found myself welling up, but none more so than when Tom Daley got his Bronze for the diving! At 18 years of age, this for him has been a very tough year. His dad, a wonderful man who never complained about getting up at 5 a.m. to take Tom to the swimming baths, passed away last year from a brain tumour. He fought very hard to survive, but it was not to be. A recent programme about Tom and his rise to fame - which of course has nothing to do with the fact that he is a lovely looking lad with a great physique - gave all of us more of an insight into this very unassuming young man, and the tough times in his life. Losing his dad was the toughest, but he also spoke about the fact that he was bullied at school, mainly by jealous people who didn't like the fact that he was so popular! Sad sad people who cannot rejoice in the good fortunes of others, and not once I would imagine did it ever occur to these mindless idiots just what he had gone through with losing his dad after a very long illness, but also all that he had to give up to become the athlete that he was! To see Tom's face when he won the bronze, and to see the coaching team and his team mates pick him up and jump into the pool with him was the highlight for me! The happiness was palpable, I felt myself grinning from ear to ear and I just hope that Tom will now take some time out for himself and enjoy the next few months - by the sounds of it he will be partying and eating!! He said last night that he had at times got fed up with always having to say no to going out and not being able to eat what he wanted to, and I got the impression he was going to be correcting that pretty rapidly!!



 Tom Daley being thrown into the pool by team mates and coaches!

Tom Daley with his medal!

I will be sitting tonight watching the closing ceremony, no doubt with tears, and I will have a few glasses of vino while I do! I am so proud right now to be British, a feeling I have not had about my place of birth for quite some time! So I am now an Olympic convert, and I hope that the closing ceremony will be as great as the Opening one, and I wish Rio all the best for the 2016 Olympics, and in particular I hope that Team GB and NI will have a successful games there too! 

In memory of LENNOX!

I thought I would do a blog today because tomorrow I have the delightful Boo coming to stay, and I doubt I will have time! Boo is Abby's (Luke's girlfriend) family dog! She is 7 months old and a Spanador (Spaniel/Labrador cross). She is absolutely delightful, but quite hard work still as she is a puppy. They are so like children and I wish people who suddenly decide on a whim to have a dog would realise just what hard work they are! When Abby's family decided to have a dog, they had Jess first to see if they could cope, asked me lots of questions, did some investigating on the internet, and prepared themselves for her. So far all is going well, although they do still find her hard work. There is no doubt on how much you need to do for a puppy, but the love and loyalty they give in return makes every second of it worthwhile! My Jess is my best friend, she is always here with me, she sits with me, she often lies on my feet actually, and she always knows when I am having a bad day! Over the last couple of weeks I have been watching in horror the story of poor Lennox, the dog who was murdered by Belfast City Council because of his breed. He supposedly had pitbull in him, but he had never actually hurt anyone. This murder was committed by a bunch of idiotic and ignorant people who hid behind the Breed Specific Legislation (I think it should be known as the bull shit legislation personally!!) to commit this crime. The Barnes family, the owners of Lennox, had given him as a puppy to their daughter, who is now 9, and he had been her best friend. That little girl is now devastated. What is even worse is the fact that Belfast City Council would not let the family see Lennox throughout the 2 (yes 2!!) years he was held, nor were they allowed to say goodbye to him. When they asked if they could have Lennox's body so he could be cremated and they could keep his ashes, they were told that 'some' ashes would be sent in the post!! They were also told they couldn't have his collar back either! Something about this story stinks, it has caused worldwide outrage, and thousands are asking for Belfast CC to be investigated! There are rumours that Lennox died months ago due to ill treatment, and it has been proven that he was in a terrible state when he was photographed, with his skin in a bad condition and huge bald patches all over his body! Belfast CC are now suffering because of their decision, and I am glad that they are, and I hope that one day the whole truth will be told about how this poor innocent little dog was murdered! Karma is a bitch, and I have no doubt she will get those involved!

I have now climbed off my soapbox and I am sitting with a fan on - summer has finally arrived - in the lounge while I type my blog! Jess is sunning herself in the garden and I sat out with her while I had a coffee and my lunch! She is definitely an outdoor girl is our Jess, the minute the sun is out, so is she! Today we have had to have a new shower fitted in our family bathroom - Luke and Abby will be delighted with it, it is a lot better than the old one! Although I am thrilled we have a new shower, while the man was here fitting it I had to go up and down the stairs a few times to speak to him, and then to look at it when he had finished! So now my knees are really painful, and I have had to take some extra painkillers! Oh the joys of Fibro! But on the plus side, hubby is taking me out for dinner tonight, we are going to go and try Cafe Gnosh, because I feel absolutely knackered and can't be bothered to cook! Well, that's my excuse!

The delightful Boo!

Jess and Boo, when she was just 3 months old, sharing Jess' bed!

I have had dogs all my married life, our first dog, Bess, was a black Labrador, just like Jess is now! We got her in 1982, and she was very much Richard's dog. She was a wonderful dog, very loyal, brilliant with the boys when they were born and was with us until 1996. We had a few months break from having a dog, then we got Zero, who was a Labrador/Lurcher cross, and she was 4 years old when we got her in late 1996. We got Zero from the RSPCA kennels, and she was a wonderful dog. She eventually left us on 11th June 2005, just one week before our Silver Wedding celebrations! We then had a two year gap, as I was devastated at the loss of Zero and couldn't face having another dog! When we were on holiday in the Caribbean in 2007, a celebration for our 50th birthdays, with our friends Elaine and Vic, I mentioned that I was thinking of getting another dog, and my friend Elaine straight away said not to do anything as she worked for Labrador Rescue and she would look out for a dog for us! I was quite fussy about what I wanted, a bitch, about 6 months or less, and black! She said that they rarely got bitches and never 6 months or less, but I was happy to wait! Someone must have been looking down on me I think, because we returned from our holiday on Wednesday 6th June, on the Friday Elaine phoned me to say there was a 6 month old bitch who needed a new home, and did we want her! I was shocked, thrilled, delighted and panic stricken all at once! By the following Monday Jess was here with us and note the date 11th June, exactly two years since we had lost Zero! It was just meant to be!! Elaine had to come and do a check, even though she knew my house was ok, she wanted to do things properly, Jess had to be checked over, and then she was ours! We have never looked back! Jess is part of the family, Luke loves her, as does Abby, she is a character, she is intelligent, but she is most definitely mine! The sad thing for me is the fact that I can no longer walk her, I used to love going for a lunchtime walk with her, but now I am not steady enough to do that! We recently took her to Spain with us, her third visit abroad, and she was an absolute star! Every evening we would tell her we were going to the pub, and the minute we said this she would pick her bag up (with her portable bowl, toys and chews in it!) and wait by the door! The people at the restaurant and bar on site greeted her like a child, took her bowl and filled it with water, and quite frequently came out with little treats for her - including some steak! The children loved her and made a fuss of her, even the Spanish children who are usually wary of big dogs, and she became quite a celebrity! And what was even better was the fact that because of Jess people talked to us! Like having children, animals break down barriers and people talk to each other! Something that the British are not very good at is talking to strangers, they almost hold back because of a fear that it will be seen as the wrong thing to do - but with a dog with you they are intrigued! 'Do you live here then' was usually the opener, and when we replied no, they would then ask how we got there, and one that surprised us was that someone who actually had a dog did not realise that dogs no longer have to be quarantined when they go back to the UK and they can have a pet passport! We spent quite a lot of time talking to this couple, and they actually said they were going to be looking into this for their dog when they got home! Another couple that we spoke to quite a bit had just lost their dog and they were trying to decide whether to have another one. This couple had a lot in common with us, the fact that they live in Kenilworth, which is literally 20 minutes from Rugby, and they were married the same year as us but two weeks after, made for some interesting conversations! It is amazing how many animal lovers there are when you start to speak to people, which is why I find the idea of someone killing a dog because of some stupid bull shit legislation abhorrent! But let's hope that the Barnes family will get some closure from this awful tragedy, and I also hope that they will take some comfort from the fact that they have had worldwide support for Lennox, and that although he may now be on the Rainbow Bridge, he will NEVER be forgotten!

The fight continues!

I have just read my lovely friend Sara Diana Williams blog! Once again this brave and outstanding woman has made me feel so much better about my illness! Considering what Sara has gone through in the last 3 years, it puts my illness in to the shade! 

The only problem I have with my illness is the fact that nobody can see it! Nobody can see that I am in pain, that each new day brings a new challenge - the latest one being stomach cramps every time I eat or drink anything and the constant feeling that I need to go to the toilet! I also seem to have problems with my thermostat! I can be sitting in a room where the temperature remains the same, and I can feel myself going hot from the tip of my toes to the top of my head, finishing with flushed cheeks and hot ears! Weird I know, but that is exactly how it feels! Each time something happens I go back to the wonderful internet and look it up and find that it is yet another side effect of having Fibro! How many more can there be I ask myself, or is it just a ploy by the doctors to keep us out of their surgery, just add another symptom to the Fibro, they won't know any difference!

I will say the stomach cramps have been horrific, a bit like period pains but I know it can't be that as I have no baby carriage - as my wonderful eldest son called it when I had my hysterectomy! He was only 5 at the time I had my operation, and he couldn't say hysterectomy or understand what it was, so my mum, bless her heart, tried to explain to him what a hysterectomy was! Putting it in the simplest of terms worked, they had taken away my baby carriage, the place where he and his brother had slept when they were being 'cooked', and as it was now not very well and I didn't need it any more, the doctors were taking it away! Oh the fun we had when he went into school and told them that! The teacher he had, Miss Evans, was a very tall lady, with a wicked sense of humour, and she found this analogy delightful! I did, however, find it quite difficult to know what to say when some of the little girls in my son's class came over and asked me why I had a pram in my tummy! Trust the girls to see it differently, we really are a very different breed to men! (Thank goodness!!)

Anyway, I digress, I have been having a bad time since I returned from my holiday, I have been very emotional, in fact the silliest little thing has me in floods of tears, the world seems like such a rotten place at the moment, everywhere I turn there is something awful going on! This last month has seen some crazed man in Denver go into a cinema that was showing the new Batman movie and shoot down and kill innocent people, including some young children; Belfast City Council has put to sleep a completely innocent dog because of the Breed Specific Legislation, a ridiculous law that needs to be stopped, and this has left a little 9 year old girl heartbroken at the loss of her beautiful pet!  If they had been putting down a rapist or a paedophile I could have understood that, but not a completely innocent dog whose only crime was having some pit bull in him!

On the other side of the coin I have had some really happy times and some good news in the last month too, and this is what I am trying to focus on right now to keep me on the right track and make the most of every day. My mum, who I miss with all my heart and every fibre of my being, used to say to me 'This is not a dress rehearsal our Sharon, this is it, you have to make the most of every day, because you won't get another chance'. Life is what we make of it, there will always be sadness, there will always be happiness, and as long as I can stay happy, or at least be on the middle ground, I know I can keep this illness under control! This bloody annoying, painful and downright horrible illness will not rule me, I am in charge and I will make the most of each day!  So there!

Back again!

Well after a wonderful holiday in Spain I have come back down to earth with a hell of a bump! I returned on Sunday of last week, the 8th July, and since then it has been a pretty awful 9 days! I have been in the most horrific pain, to the extent that I have been in tears, and then on Friday last I awoke with a headache that completely floored me, I felt exhausted, and everything I tried to do was like climbing a mountain!

Since then, I have tried really hard to work through the illness that is Fibromyalgia, all to no avail, and on Sunday I had to give in and spend the day in bed! When I tried to get out of bed on Friday, the whole room spun, I felt sick and I literally fell back into bed! My head felt like it would burst and my ears actually burned and were bright red and hurt to touch! I then found out that there is a virus going around, and these were the symptoms! I would say it likened to my thermometer going haywire and not working! One minute I was shivering with cold, the next I had to turn the fan on, in fact both Saturday and Sunday night I had to sleep with the fan on! Poor Richard was wrapped in the quilt with it up to his neck, and I was lying there dripping in sweat! The fact that I spent two days in bed is rare, but after spending a wonderful holiday resting, I think it all got a bit too much having to come home to the cleaning, washing and the bills to sort out, and of course the wonderful British weather!

As we left the apartment in Spain, at 10.30 in the morning, the temperature was 32 degrees and rising, and as we came into the UK the temperature was 16 degrees and dropping! Quite a shock for my body I think, and perhaps why I have suddenly hit that damned brick wall and come to a complete full stop!

The one good thing that we came back to was a cheque that was sent from a PPI claim that we had started about 18 months ago! Because of this we have decided to take another holiday later this year, we weren't sure we would be able to have another holiday until much later this year, but now we have decided to use some of the money for another break. I am so much better when I am out in the sunshine, in fact I would say I am like a new woman! The pain is still there but because I am resting more and in the heat, it is more manageable!

When I was out in Spain, I was really looking forward to the fact that the Bar and Restaurant on site was open, and I was hoping to be able to walk round there for a drink and a meal, but I had forgotten just how far it was to the bar, and poor Richard had to drive round because it was just too far for me! Really frustrating to be away in such beautiful weather and not be well enough to walk as far as the bar! Fortunately Richard is not much of a drinker, and a couple of beers and a glass of wine is as much as he will have in an evening, and the roads on site are also private, so there is no chance of the police coming into the resort without us all knowing, as they would have to come through the security gates, and even they would have to stop and show their I.D.!!

I will say though that Coppola's was an absolute delight, the staff, the food, the ambience, everything about it was right! They had entertainment on at the weekends, and since we have returned from holiday they have also started a Quiz night on a Monday and a Karaoke and Disco night on a Wednesday (not my favourite is Karaoke!!), but the best thing of all is that the resort has lots of Spanish people living there, the entertainment is in Spanish and English, and one staff member, the wonderful Alicia, has been helping us with our Spanish, so we have come on leaps and bounds with our language skills during this break!  

 Alicia is the one on the far left next to me, behind Richard is Paco the chef, and I am unsure of the names of the other people, but the man in the blue checked shirt is the owner and the young boy is Paco's son! They asked us for a photo because we are now part of the Coppola's family!

Alicia and another staff member serving up our wonderful paella!

Richard having a lovely afternoon of golf, I drove the cart!

Alicia and I on our last night! I miss her very much, delightful young lady who was always smiling! She also used to spoil Jess, who became quite a celebrity, and bring her out pieces of steak! Paco, the chef, also used to bring Jess slices of ham when the boss wasn't looking!

While we were out in Spain, the dog was with us, and she became quite a celebrity with everyone! People would come and speak to us, many people thought we lived there because we had the dog with us! In the evening when we started to get ready to go out, Jess would start 'padding', and as soon as I said 'are you coming to the pub', she would start making a lot of noise, and would pick up her bag with her bowl, chews and toy in it! It was so funny to watch her! Because she is such a good dog, we never put her on the lead when we walk her, but because often people were eating we would put her on the lead until we found a seat. She would carry her bag into the square where the seats were - outside dining is just great - and everyone would watch in awe as she walked to the table, sat down and we then gave the staff her water bowl which they would fill, even before we got a drink! The Spanish are not usually good with big dogs, they tend to have small ones, and big dogs are used as guard dogs, but because Jess was so well behaved, everyone wanted to pet her! Jess really did us proud and was very well behaved, even when Spain won the European Cup and there were fireworks going off everywhere, she just sat quietly and never made a fuss! That was definitely one of the highlights of the holiday, the atmosphere was brilliant, everyone was watching the football and we were all rooting for Spain, and even though Rich had a bad foot and a bite that had swollen up, we had a good night!

On Saturday just gone we had Abby's parents over for a Chinese Take Away, and we gave them the information folder and the keys to our apartment. They are taking a holiday on their own for the first time since they had their children, which is over 23 years ago! They are flying out to Spain and using our apartment so they can have a really relaxing and stress free holiday, I hope they will love it there as much as we do! It may be out in the sticks, but personally I prefer that to being in the middle of bars and restaurants, being kept awake by noisy holiday goers, having the smell of food from restaurants and take aways around me, the peace and quiet is what I enjoy, I would rather drive to find the noise and night life, at least then you can drive away and leave it!

This is where our apartment is, ours is the one right in the middle of the picture, second floor, with the ornament on the wall! It may only be small, but it is our little piece of paradise!

An update on the fiasco with the benefits people, I have to be reassessed, they are paying me at the moment, at the lowest rate, until my appeal is heard, so now it is just a waiting game. However, I have started a complaint against the doctor who examined me, because he blatantly lied, and every doctor takes the hippocratic oath, and part of that oath is to always tell the truth, and I will make sure that he pays for the lies he has told, in more ways than one, and that he never does this to anyone else!