I have just read my lovely friend Sara Diana Williams blog! Once again this brave and outstanding woman has made me feel so much better about my illness! Considering what Sara has gone through in the last 3 years, it puts my illness in to the shade!
The only problem I have with my illness is the fact that nobody can see it! Nobody can see that I am in pain, that each new day brings a new challenge - the latest one being stomach cramps every time I eat or drink anything and the constant feeling that I need to go to the toilet! I also seem to have problems with my thermostat! I can be sitting in a room where the temperature remains the same, and I can feel myself going hot from the tip of my toes to the top of my head, finishing with flushed cheeks and hot ears! Weird I know, but that is exactly how it feels! Each time something happens I go back to the wonderful internet and look it up and find that it is yet another side effect of having Fibro! How many more can there be I ask myself, or is it just a ploy by the doctors to keep us out of their surgery, just add another symptom to the Fibro, they won't know any difference!
I will say the stomach cramps have been horrific, a bit like period pains but I know it can't be that as I have no baby carriage - as my wonderful eldest son called it when I had my hysterectomy! He was only 5 at the time I had my operation, and he couldn't say hysterectomy or understand what it was, so my mum, bless her heart, tried to explain to him what a hysterectomy was! Putting it in the simplest of terms worked, they had taken away my baby carriage, the place where he and his brother had slept when they were being 'cooked', and as it was now not very well and I didn't need it any more, the doctors were taking it away! Oh the fun we had when he went into school and told them that! The teacher he had, Miss Evans, was a very tall lady, with a wicked sense of humour, and she found this analogy delightful! I did, however, find it quite difficult to know what to say when some of the little girls in my son's class came over and asked me why I had a pram in my tummy! Trust the girls to see it differently, we really are a very different breed to men! (Thank goodness!!)
Anyway, I digress, I have been having a bad time since I returned from my holiday, I have been very emotional, in fact the silliest little thing has me in floods of tears, the world seems like such a rotten place at the moment, everywhere I turn there is something awful going on! This last month has seen some crazed man in Denver go into a cinema that was showing the new Batman movie and shoot down and kill innocent people, including some young children; Belfast City Council has put to sleep a completely innocent dog because of the Breed Specific Legislation, a ridiculous law that needs to be stopped, and this has left a little 9 year old girl heartbroken at the loss of her beautiful pet! If they had been putting down a rapist or a paedophile I could have understood that, but not a completely innocent dog whose only crime was having some pit bull in him!
On the other side of the coin I have had some really happy times and some good news in the last month too, and this is what I am trying to focus on right now to keep me on the right track and make the most of every day. My mum, who I miss with all my heart and every fibre of my being, used to say to me 'This is not a dress rehearsal our Sharon, this is it, you have to make the most of every day, because you won't get another chance'. Life is what we make of it, there will always be sadness, there will always be happiness, and as long as I can stay happy, or at least be on the middle ground, I know I can keep this illness under control! This bloody annoying, painful and downright horrible illness will not rule me, I am in charge and I will make the most of each day! So there!
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