That damned brick wall!

I think today is one of 'those days'! I feel like I have hit a brick wall, and I could quite happily curl up in bed and sleep for days! I am sitting here with my eyes closing, head nodding and feeling like my head is going to burst! I slept really badly last night, I went to bed at about 11.40 p.m. and at 2.10 p.m. I had been up to the toilet three times, and felt as though I had maybe slept for a short time, but had no idea how long! And when I did sleep I had those horrible dreams again!

I have forced myself to keep going today, but I am in a lot of pain with my back, something that only seems to happen when I am in a 'bad place'!! I think I have pain in so many places that when I do get pain in my back it is usually really bad, and today every time I sit the pain shoots up my back and into my shoulders! Oh the joys of having a failing body! I have also woken every morning this week desperate to go back to sleep, unable to straighten out my hands, and wanting to scream with the pain! But as usual I just carry on, get out of bed, get showered, tidy up what I can manage to do, prepare tea, etc.  I have also been shopping twice, once to Aldi and once to Tescos. I find it easier to cope if I do it in small amounts, and I have learned to split the shopping into lots of bags with a small amount in each!

I have tried really hard this week not to ask too much of the men of the house because they have had a tough week themselves, a visit from UKAS to get the Lab registered!   A UKAS registration will mean more work, which in turn means longer days, which means I will be on my own more! Quite a daunting thought, as my days seem long enough but the business needs to be built up if it is to support two families! As Luke is planning to buy his own home soon with his partner Abby, the business needs to be built up to give him the finances to do so, and that is what they are all working towards! Plus of course the fact that we have to have enough to survive on and run two homes! I so wish I could do more to help! I have thought about writing a book, but it seems such a daunting task, and with my memory as it is, I don't know if I could manage it! Maybe I should do a J K Rowling and go and sit in a Cafe somewhere and sip coffee all day! But then I do wonder if I would be able to do that too, as what goes in seems to come out in abundance - I would probably spend more time in the loo!!!!!

I did take my neighbour Pat to Pennie's today to try out the wonderful new Vibration plate, which does seem to be helping my metabolism and my joints, so I am hoping that with the use of the plate and my exercises given to me by the Fibromyalgia team at Walsgrave I will see an improvement! We will see! I am trying to be optomistic, but unfortunately that is one thing that seems to desert me at times like this!!

Well, I am off now to try and start the tea, meatballs tonight, looking forward to that as it is always a nice hearty meal, might even treat myself to a glass of wine!